


cassiopeia

by worstgirl



Category: We Know the Devil (Visual Novel)
Genre: Almost sexual assault, Angst, F/F, Fluff, Gay, Homophobia, Jupitune, Misgendering, References to eating disorders, Secret Relationships, Songfic, Touch Repulsion, basically a whole mess of emotions, partially a texting fic, references to self harm, use of the d slur
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-14
Updated: 2019-02-14
Packaged: 2019-10-27 20:54:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,691
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17774066
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/worstgirl/pseuds/worstgirl
Summary: based on the song cassiopeia by anju~~~the both of us are breathingin each other's earsour secrets speak different languagesstill your whisper's clear





	cassiopeia

_ messages on clementine rinds  _ _   
_ _ for once in my life i don't know how to feel  _ _   
_ _ you taste like pennies  _ _   
_ _ and that's alright with me  _ __   
  


It was odd, the way they slipped into a routine so easily. Neptune’s stupid citrus perfume that somehow leaked onto everything she touched, like a virus. It may have been masking something a lot more sinister, but the little messages were the most sinister of all for Jupiter. It was like getting a telegraph on an orange peel. The little ‘xo’ signed at the end of the message scrawled on notebook paper made Jupiter’s heart do odd little flip-flops, and she couldn’t decide to feel excited or afraid or happy. They’d never taught her about this in Sunday school- what to feel when a girl you liked- no, loved- invited you to a dark closet. Then you feel her hand on your wrist and you’re together, and she tastes like pennies. Iron, Jupiter vaguely thought, or blood. In the back of her head, she was worried, but then she shrugged it off. It was alright with her.

_   
_ _ the both of us are breathing  _ _   
_ _ in each other's ears  _ _   
_ _ our secrets speak different languages  _ _   
_ _ still your whisper's clear  _ _   
_ __   
Jupiter could feel her breath on her ear, her blush spreading to the spot. Her own breathing hitched just enough to make Neptune laugh softly. God, her laugh was amazing when it wasn’t mean or sarcastic, when it was genuine and soft and sweet and turned Jupiter’s stomach to jelly. The whispers against her skin, the lips seeming like a different language. It was so strange- Neptune was all lips, Jupiter was all hands. But the meaning was so clear. “I love you.” Jupiter whispered, her words so quiet. 

 

“I know.” 

 

_ with you i feel grapefruit juice  _ _   
_ _ running in my blood  _ _   
_ _ i'm just a little confused  _ _   
_ _ what to think of us  _ __   
  


When Jupiter was with Neptune, trapped in a closet where it was all lips and hands and whispers, she felt like they were one. Neptune’s citrus perfume seemed like it was infecting her, slipping into her bloodstream. Grapefruit and orange and lemon, all making her head swim. Then they left, and they were in two seperate worlds. Neptune with her messy buns and short skirts and crop tops and Jupiter with her jeans and jerseys and ever-present army jacket. What were they? Strangers, friends, lovers- Jupiter was confused.

_   
_ _ am i dreaming  _ _   
_ _ is it even you  _ _   
_ _ cassiopeia  _ _   
_ _ kiss me blue  _ _   
_ _ like the dragons in the parking lot  _ _   
_ _ ever heaving, flames and then exhaust  _ __   
  


Sometimes, Jupiter was sure it was a dream. Like when she was home, sitting on the small section of roof outside her window, knees tugged to her chest and eyes staring up at the starry sky. She named the constellations- Cassiopeia. The Big Dipper. Ursa Major. Memories flitted in and out. Laying back on the dock at summer camp, shirt sticking to her skin with sweat, pointing to the constellations on one of the few occassions they’d snuck out. Just her and Neptune, Venus had fallen asleep an hour before, but it had been a bad day for Jupiter and she refused to sleep. Her fingers traced her own lips, feeling the bruise under her fingers, tinging her lips blue. 

 

School that next day was hell. She was confronted by the biggest boy she knew in the parking lot behind the school, his chest heaving as if it couldn’t get enough air in under the weight of his ego. “Heard you’re a little dyke, huh?” His words felt like flames on her face, and he stepped even closer, and her back was against the wall. “Got yourself a girlfriend. Shame, you’re kind of cute.” His hands were so close to her and she was screaming in her head but her mouth was closed and eyes wide.

 

“H-Hey! Leave- leave her alone!” The familiar voice wasn’t as soft as it usually was, and Jupiter’s head whipped to see Venus, her arms folded over her chest.

 

“What’re you going to do, pretty boy?” The boy snapped, and his hand was on Jupiter’s shoulder, and everything felt like it was covered in ants and spiders. 

 

“ _ She’s  _ not going to do anything, I am.” And then Neptune’s manicured fist was smashing into the boy’s face and Jupiter was released and she collapsed in a ball. There was shouting and what sounded like a fight but then Venus’ hand was gentle on her hand and pulling her away. She looked over her shoulder at Neptune, all pink and makeup and dip-dyed hair, looking like she was about to tear the boy apart.

_   
_ _ constellate our fears with cinnamon sticks  _ _   
_ _ let's connect the stars  _ _   
_ _ help me hold the heavy parts of a heart  _ _   
_ _ feel me from afar  _ _   
_ __   
Neptune was suspended for a week. She just shrugged it off, since she knew she didn’t care about school anyways, but Jupiter knew she did care— more than she let on, at least. But that meant she could come over more often, since she said, “Locks aren’t going to keep me in.” 

 

And here they were, in Jupiter’s room with the smell of cinnamon intense from whatever incense her mother was burning today. It was probably supposed to reduce stress, or calm fears, or get rid of joint pain, but it just made Jupiter’s stomach ache with hunger. To distract herself, she took a felt pen, connecting the freckles on her leg with lines, connecting them like stars- she could always perfectly make Cassiopeia. Neptune was talking about something- a lot of swearing and text speak intermingled, and oddly more comforting than the cinnamon smell that reminded Jupiter of Summer Scouts. 

 

“You’re quiet.” Neptune commented, her perfectly arched eyebrow lifting at her and creasing her forehead in a way that made Jupiter want to kiss it away.

 

“I’m usually quiet.” Jupiter commented, even as her heart felt like lead, dropping down down down into her stomach. There was a dip in the mattress as Neptune sat next to her, and Jupiter was suddenly vividly aware of the way her shorts were rolled up and Neptune’s eyes on her and the hand reaching for her knee. Her pen slipped on her leg as she scrambled away. 

 

_ many moons of waiting on a steady sun  _ _   
_ _ now i freeze in fear  _ _   
_ _ merge our fingernail horizons  _ _   
_ _ swear you'll catch my tears  _ __   
  


Their eyes met, dark chocolate brown and dark blue-grey. So pretty and red, like fire, burning and flaring in Jupiter’s face- Neptune was supposed to be the cool and suave one, but she was like the sun to Jupiter. So bright, so beautiful, that she couldn’t look away even as she felt her eyes burning and going blind and her limbs freezing. 

 

Instead, she felt Neptune’s hand slipping into hers, merging their fingers together- and Jupiter had to fight the two parts of her. The one that was so scared and afraid and wrong wrong wrong, and the part that felt content and happy and right. She barely noticed she was crying until Neptune’s thumb was smoothing across her cheeks. “Hey, don’t cry, it’s just me.” But that was the problem.

_   
_ _ maybe sometime you can teach me  _ _   
_ _ how to hold on to your hand  _ _   
_ _ maybe next time when i'm bleeding  _ _   
_ _ i can call across the sand  _ __   
  


Jupiter pulled her hand away. Maybe some day she’d be okay with this, the casual sweet touch, but her heart was pounding. One day, Neptune could teach her how to hold her hand and not freak out, but not today. But Neptune’s hand caught her wrist, pulling it towards her. The tiny red line poked out, and Jupiter’s heart stopped pounding. It stopped doing much of anything. 

 

“Jupiter.” Neptune looked at her with a cold glare, and the swirl of guilt grew in her stomach. 

 

“I’m fine.” She found herself saying, her voice surprisingly steady, even terrifyingly so.

 

Neptune barked out a sarcastic laugh. “That’s my line. But no, this isn’t fucking fine, Jupiter, you’re hurting yourself!”

 

“So are you! Why won’t you get help?” Jupiter snapped. And the look that came over Neptune’s face almost made her want to take it back. But it was true. “You’re getting worse, you taste like blood every time, you disappear in class to throw up-“

 

“It’s not-“

 

“It’s killing you!” 

 

Silence. Gross, heavy silence that made Jupiter feel like she wasn’t able to breathe, like it was tar pouring into her lungs. It was like they were on opposite sides of the beach, the rolling ocean brewing a storm in between them.

 

“Let’s make a deal. You tell me when you want to hurt yourself. I tell you when I’m going to throw up. And we help each other.” 

 

Jupiter hesitated, before nodding, and then Neptune’s lips were scattering light kisses across her cheeks and jaw and brow, and she felt at ease again. 

_   
_ _ and when the ocean takes the lipstick from my face  _ _   
_ _ might you be there  _ _   
_ _ and as i'm walking empty steps in place  _ _   
_ _ will you hear my prayer  _ _   
_ __   
Then Neptune was gone, and Jupiter felt the crushing feeling, the feeling of pressing on her chest and hands and she curled up, arms locked around her knees. She pulled out her phone, hands quivering. She felt like the tears were an ocean down her face, burning away the lipstick. She was fine, it was fine, she shouldn’t text her-

 

FrootJupes: Hey.

 

RestingWitchFace: miss me already? ;)

 

FrootJupes: Maybe?

 

RestingWitchFace: ur a dork u know

RestingWitchFace: lucky ur adorable othrwise ud be annoying lol

 

FrootJupes: Yeah, but you’ll always be there for me, right?

 

RestingWitchFace: yeah ofc

 

FrootJupes: Well thats good.

 

RestingWitchFace: 911 jupiter forgot a ‘ the world is gonna end

 

FrootJupes: An apostrophe?

 

RestingWitchFace: yeah that thing

RestingWitchFace: but srsly u good love??

 

FrootJupes: Now I am.

FrootJupes: <3

 

Jupiter curled on her side, staring at the screen, and the small heart. For a moment, she prayed. God, if this was wrong, why did it feel so good? 

 

_ am i dreaming  _ _   
_ _ is it even true  _ _   
_ _ cassiopeia  _ _   
_ _ show me what i'm meant to do  _ _   
_ _ like the angels in the submarine  _ _   
_ __ we hold water with our weighted wings

**Author's Note:**

> i look at my actual fics that i should be writing
> 
> have this vent fic for an obscure fandom that barely anyone cares about instead
> 
> ~ Percy


End file.
